I hate texting people who don't use smileys. I feel like I'm texting an emotionless robot.
A 3 months pregnant woman falls into a deep coma. 6 months later, she awakes and asks the doctor 'bout her baby.
- Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are both fine. Luckily, your brother named them for you.
- Woman: Oh no, not my brother! He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?
- Doctor: Denise.
- Woman: Well it isn't so bad, and what did he call the boy?
- Doctor: Denephew.
- This thing seriously just made my day! hahahahahahaaha : DD
The Lion King
Reblog if you've been told you have a nice butt.
A mother passing by her daughter’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, “Mom.” With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:
YOU’RE DOING IT RIGHT.
ASK ME NO QUESTIONS, I’LL TELL YOU NO LIES.